Dr. Anne: It may not be often that a 30-year old man is still a virgin. But you are
not late yet. I think you know enough about the joy of sex and love to write
me to change the situation. Many young men in your predicaments do not know
how to tackle the situation. But you can change it. It usually is not a
deep-seated problem, but can be addressed with your efforts.
First you need to get comfortable relating to girls. Practice having
small talks with young women, total strangers, in open environments. Start
with easy conversations with no intimate connotations. Talk to a pretty girl
you find at a super market, asking how she prepares certain foods you find
in her basket. Ask a girl at a park where she got her stylish shoes so that
you can get the same for your sister's birthday, etc. Do it 10 times a day.
In one week, you would have talked to 70 pretty girls. Then start asking
additional questions like if she works or lives nearby, or what restaurants
and movies she likes. You can gradually expand your hunting grounds (cafes,
restaurants, bookstores, beaches, etc.) and the type of questions. As you
get comfortable talking to ANY pretty girl about a variety of things, you
can steer your conversations toward more romantic subjects. Corresponding or
chatting with women on online dating sites like AccessDate is also a good
supplement to (but not a substitute for) your in-person practice.
There are also many books written to help getting comfortable with
romantic relationships. Search the internet like Amazon.com on the subject
of dating. Whishing you good luck.
Dr. Anne
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