Ask Anne

Iam dating someone for over 6 months. My problem is that when it comes to sex he wants me to please him by giving him oral everyday. But when I am in the mood he says that he's not. I have thought about cheating on him but not sure if it is the right thing. I care deeply for him. He keeps talking about his ex-wife when we are in bed together. I am not sure what to do.
Sandra

Dr. Anne: Each of the incidents you cited does not sound anything real serious. But such a consistent pattern of inconsiderate and selfish behavior makes me feel that he may not be ready for a new loving relationship. Most caring men like to please his partners. Sexual selfishness may be the result of not loving you. His recurring remarks of his ex may also be a result of his inability to immerge himself in a new ralationship with you.

My suggestion will be you talk over these issues frankly with him and see how he responds. Without being confrontational, bring up these issues which make you unhappy. If his answer is unsatisfactory or insincere, or if he does not change following such discussions, you should move on to other relations. You deserve a lot more than the way he treats you. Continuing this relationship without improvement will never make you happy.