Here again, the tone and general impression is more important than cleaver phrase. You need to convey warmth, honesty, compassion, sense of humor, self-confidence, upbeat and optimistic outlook, and success in your life and career. No one is going to seek out losers or self-doubters down in the dump, while there are thousands of other eligible singles. When you feel angry or depressed, don’t write the profile. Wait until you feel upbeat and happy. You can even get the help of a glass of wine and favorite music to get into the mood and feel sexy and romantic. Your feelings will come through.

What to write is entirely up to your life, imagination and notion of romance. Talk about your life and work briefly. Talk about what you like to do, such as travel, reading, theaters, music, shopping, etc. Talk about something you have done recently, like a book you just read, like a trip to Vermont last fall, to Cabo this spring, or a side trip to Bergamo while you were in Milan on business, etc. From there you can branch out: “Next time, I would love to go to Tuscany with someone special.” Talk about your passions or belief, such as your devotion to environment causes, your volunteer work to coach disadvantaged kids, your participation in Meals-on-Wheels program. Most people associate success, compassion, warmth and general goodness, with people who devote themselves to a cause. But these remarks need to be truthful.

Many people start out with, “My friends tell me I am beautiful and intelligent.” Some say outright “I am handsome, intelligent, compassionate, blah, blah.” Although these approaches are workable, they sure sound cheesy. The intelligence should come through in the essay, not by saying that he thinks he is intelligent. If you can, convey your intelligence and handsomeness by actual examples. It’s quite all right to brag about you if you have the right material. You can say “I am just elected to Commodore of my yacht club.” You can say “I hope to meet someone special before the fading of my looks, which got me college homecoming queen in the years past.” You can say “I was named among the top ten salesmen in the company, and I hope to take someone special to the next sales meeting in Hawaii.” You can say “I was selected as one of 50 most influential business women of the city thanks to my hard work, but I wanted to spend more time to look for a successful life partner.” Again, be truthful when bragging. You may need to provide details if things go well.

You also need to recognize the subtle differences between men and women in their interests. Women like romance, warm and fuzzy feelings, compassion and care for others, and of course commitment. Men are drawn to more direct life experiences and actions. At the risk of over-generalization, you can assume women are drawn to men who, besides being successful, will be generous both materially and emotionally, who are not afraid of commitment. Essays conveying generosity and romance will frequently open women’s hearts. On the other hand, men are interested in laughs, good time, fun, cheerful and vivacious personality and sexy women. Know your audience, and solicit a friend of opposite sex to comment on your profile.

There are a great deal not to include in the profile. Leave out your dirty laundry and insecurities; anger, resentment, regrets, self-pity do not belong to an online dating profile. Not that you will not reveal those at some point. Everything has its time and place. Do not talk about your ex-, not about soured relationships, not about your sick mother, not about your lousy job, not about the rough life you had. Do not show any negativism: don’t say “I need a rescue from my boring life,” or “life is unfair,” etc. You can include something about your children, but don’t make them the centerpiece. Your dream date is looking for a lover, not kids to care for. Do not say “no game players” or “don’t waste my time.” You will come through as a difficult and negative person. The real game players will not be deterred by such remarks. It will actually attract their challenges.

Marketers long have known that people do as told. That’s why a sales pitch ends with “call now”, “take action today”, etc. These “call to action” really works. You have given your potential dates good reasons to be interested in you. Make them contact you. Close your essay by saying “Send an email today. I promise to reply,” “Contact me right away,” “Catch me on the online chat, I am online most Thursday nights,” or “Send me an eCard available in this site, the one with roses.” People will act on such commands, rather than putting the action off.

To recap, you do need to post an attractive professional quality photo to draw your dream dates to look at your profile. In all factual items, be honest and truthful. Have a catchy and snappy headline, which tells something about you. Let the essay bring your personality out. Write it in short, snappy sentences. Be positive, warm, romantic, compassionate and witty. Use humor. Tell something positive and interesting about you. Share your recent interesting experiences. Leave out any negatives for later. With this kind of profile, you are bound to get more responses than you can handle.